We should all remember and apply the simple maxims of our childhood.
"You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over, again!"
I have been thinking of this blog for several months now (READ - feeling guilty, lazy.....). My posts ended less than a month from their beginning with a blow to my ego. What started with good intentions and loads of insight ended quickly with the first real challenge to my self-image.
However, I still long to write and feel that this is a medium in which I can express myself.
"Dust yourself off"
The year has not been a total bust when I think of the growth and connections I have attempted to make. I feel as if I have closer relationships with my siblings. I feel as though I manage work and work relations better. My husband and I are closer than we have been in years. My children are growing into honorable, lovely young adults with ideas and lives of their own, both of whom make their Mom very proud!
"Dust yourself off"
So, the day before I celebrate my 50th birthday, I wish to rededicate myself to the following:
1. Writing in this blog
2. Self-growth and discovery
3. Fostering true relationships
4. Increasing my spirituality
5. Simplifying my life and its clutter
"Dust yourself off"
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Gut Shot
Being told that you are not good enough is the worst gut shot.
I had applied for a position at the next level in my department. Positions like this do not open very often, and I felt like I had very good strengths to contribute to the organization and a good chance at the job. I network all the time with other managers and staff. I have been trusted to train other new managers even after being a manager myself for only six months. I have very good relations with all of my previous managers. I run a profitable, stable department.
The sucker punch came when I was not even offered the courtesy of an interview. How am I supposed to persuade them to consider me when I will not get to talk with them?
You're just not good enough.
Wow, that hurts.
Maybe, it is time to move on.
I had applied for a position at the next level in my department. Positions like this do not open very often, and I felt like I had very good strengths to contribute to the organization and a good chance at the job. I network all the time with other managers and staff. I have been trusted to train other new managers even after being a manager myself for only six months. I have very good relations with all of my previous managers. I run a profitable, stable department.
The sucker punch came when I was not even offered the courtesy of an interview. How am I supposed to persuade them to consider me when I will not get to talk with them?
You're just not good enough.
Wow, that hurts.
Maybe, it is time to move on.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
My Sister Is Not Ellen DeGeneres
They share a birthday, though.
There must be something special about January 26th. Two of my favorite people are born on that day, and they have some surprising things in common. Ellen DeGeneres is one of them, but, more importantly, my sister Lori is celebrating her birthday today. She and Ellen are both loving, generous, funny, fun-loving ladies. Both love animals. And, although the style is different, they share a love of music.
My dream is to have my sister and Ellen celebrate their birthday together on Ellen's show. I think that Lori deserves to be treated like a queen for her birthday, and I know Ellen would accommodate, especially on that day. Can you (my siblings) imagine Lori under Ellen's care for the day? What a hoot!
Maybe, they could celebrate the day "Down Under" in Australia which commemorates Australia Day, (think July 4th in the USA,) on January 26th! That's the ultimate dream - my sister and Ellen DeGeneres in Australia celebrating their birthday!! What a party that would be! I would fly myself down just to see it - two of my favorite people in the country I have come to love.
Ladies, cheers to you both. I wish my dream could come true someday.
I love you, Lori. Happy Birthday.
There must be something special about January 26th. Two of my favorite people are born on that day, and they have some surprising things in common. Ellen DeGeneres is one of them, but, more importantly, my sister Lori is celebrating her birthday today. She and Ellen are both loving, generous, funny, fun-loving ladies. Both love animals. And, although the style is different, they share a love of music.
My dream is to have my sister and Ellen celebrate their birthday together on Ellen's show. I think that Lori deserves to be treated like a queen for her birthday, and I know Ellen would accommodate, especially on that day. Can you (my siblings) imagine Lori under Ellen's care for the day? What a hoot!
Maybe, they could celebrate the day "Down Under" in Australia which commemorates Australia Day, (think July 4th in the USA,) on January 26th! That's the ultimate dream - my sister and Ellen DeGeneres in Australia celebrating their birthday!! What a party that would be! I would fly myself down just to see it - two of my favorite people in the country I have come to love.
Ladies, cheers to you both. I wish my dream could come true someday.
I love you, Lori. Happy Birthday.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
My Thursday Humility Lesson
I was very confident about how work was going this morining. Then, my supervisors showed up for a quick visit.
Humility is a good lesson to be learned often and, hopefully, in small doses. Today, I got some gentle reminders that I still have a lot to learn, even at 49. I have taken even minor criticisms of my job performance very personally lately. So, today, when I thought that I had done well, but my supervisors thought otherwise, I decided that this would be my learning moment instead of an affront to my efforts. I listened to their critique, thoroughly read through their follow-up notes and intend to apply to their guidance.
I am sure that they are not out to deflate me. That would be counterproductive to their task of seeing that departments under their supervision succeed. I really think that they were trying to remind me to work smarter, not harder. Once I determined that they were, essentially, on my side, I realized my mood improved, my anxiety dissipated, and I knew that I could sleep soundly tonight.
Humility might actually be a good sleep catalyst.
Humility is a good lesson to be learned often and, hopefully, in small doses. Today, I got some gentle reminders that I still have a lot to learn, even at 49. I have taken even minor criticisms of my job performance very personally lately. So, today, when I thought that I had done well, but my supervisors thought otherwise, I decided that this would be my learning moment instead of an affront to my efforts. I listened to their critique, thoroughly read through their follow-up notes and intend to apply to their guidance.
I am sure that they are not out to deflate me. That would be counterproductive to their task of seeing that departments under their supervision succeed. I really think that they were trying to remind me to work smarter, not harder. Once I determined that they were, essentially, on my side, I realized my mood improved, my anxiety dissipated, and I knew that I could sleep soundly tonight.
Humility might actually be a good sleep catalyst.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Prayer of a Reluctant Witness
It bothers me that before I even left the sanctuary this morning, I was speaking harshly about someone. Why is it so easy for me to listen to my faith teachings for over an hour, yet let evil rule my thoughts and actions as soon as the service is finished? How can I sincerely nod my head in agreement with the tenets of my faith then callously ignore all of them so quickly?
I have become a reluctant witness to the love of my God and to His creed. I need to consciously exercise God's plan and resist becoming a faith couch potato. Laziness in piety is the devil's advocate. I find it easier to join in speaking ill of someone than to speak up for them. I find it easier to be smug or arrogant than to be modest or humble. I find it easier to be the Pharisee thanking God for making me so wonderful than to be the tax collector, beating my chest and calling myself the sinner that I am.
Lord, help this reluctant witness follow Your Way more closely. Help me eagerly abide by Your Word in all that I do this next week. Help me follow Your great commandment to love others as I love myself.
Amen.
I have become a reluctant witness to the love of my God and to His creed. I need to consciously exercise God's plan and resist becoming a faith couch potato. Laziness in piety is the devil's advocate. I find it easier to join in speaking ill of someone than to speak up for them. I find it easier to be smug or arrogant than to be modest or humble. I find it easier to be the Pharisee thanking God for making me so wonderful than to be the tax collector, beating my chest and calling myself the sinner that I am.
Lord, help this reluctant witness follow Your Way more closely. Help me eagerly abide by Your Word in all that I do this next week. Help me follow Your great commandment to love others as I love myself.
Amen.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Kindness Is Like Spray Paint
I had a really busy, hard week at work, and I must be getting post-Christmas blues.
I always wonder why we pack so much kindness into the Christmas season. We all desire to spread consideration throughout the year. Why have we made such a tradition of packing it all into a two-week period at the end of a calendar year? And, why is our thoughtfulness focused on a small group of loved ones and the occasional charity? Christmas is a primer in the frittering of kindness. Plenty of people spend money on gifts to put under the tree. Sometimes, they know of or have heard of a need or want, and "hit a home run" with the gift. Too often, the gift is just a filler for the tree skirt.
Kindness is like spray paint. It should be spread in even layers, frequently and consistently. Love and solicitude should be given habitually and to all. In a time of need throughout our country, we should all be giving of our time, talent and treasure as we can, whenever we can, not just in "the holiday season." Goodwill toward all should be a daily mantra, not a Christmas carol.
Please spread a little kindness to all you encounter in your day today and always. Be the spray painter.
I always wonder why we pack so much kindness into the Christmas season. We all desire to spread consideration throughout the year. Why have we made such a tradition of packing it all into a two-week period at the end of a calendar year? And, why is our thoughtfulness focused on a small group of loved ones and the occasional charity? Christmas is a primer in the frittering of kindness. Plenty of people spend money on gifts to put under the tree. Sometimes, they know of or have heard of a need or want, and "hit a home run" with the gift. Too often, the gift is just a filler for the tree skirt.
Kindness is like spray paint. It should be spread in even layers, frequently and consistently. Love and solicitude should be given habitually and to all. In a time of need throughout our country, we should all be giving of our time, talent and treasure as we can, whenever we can, not just in "the holiday season." Goodwill toward all should be a daily mantra, not a Christmas carol.
Please spread a little kindness to all you encounter in your day today and always. Be the spray painter.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Confessions of a Night Owl
(On a lighter note)
I am a night owl who works an early morning job. Here are a few things that I have learned and must confess.
Sunrises are beautiful.
I confess that I am enjoying all of the sunrises I have been privileged to see since starting work so early. I know that it is tough some days to wake at 5 AM. However, most mornings bless my drive to work here in Colorado with a beautiful, big-sky sunrise that begs viewing. I have needed to stop on a few occasions just to admire the colors and spectacle around me. I can testify that most confirmed night owls will not see a handful of sunrises in a year. Early birds get that honor.
Sleep before midnight really is more beneficial.
I once heard that every hour of sleep before midnight is almost equivalent to two before the clock strikes twelve. I confess that when I get to bed early on weeknights, I feel more rested than when I stay up late on weekends and sleep in. Maybe that anecdote is not such a stretch. Besides, all quality TV is aired before 10 PM (CST), anyway.
Early birds really do get more done before 10 AM.
I confess that when I am at my early morning job, I really do get more done before 10 AM than if I am at home on a "sleep in" weekend. On a weekend that I sleep in to 7 or 8 AM, I will look at the clock after a slow breakfast or late shower around 10 AM and compare what I would have gotten done at work. That makes me feel guilty every time! I know that some weekend days need to be slow and relaxing. But, how much could I have accomplished had I gotten up just a little earlier?
I will probably always tend to be a night owl, but now I have early bird yearnings.
I am a night owl who works an early morning job. Here are a few things that I have learned and must confess.
Sunrises are beautiful.
I confess that I am enjoying all of the sunrises I have been privileged to see since starting work so early. I know that it is tough some days to wake at 5 AM. However, most mornings bless my drive to work here in Colorado with a beautiful, big-sky sunrise that begs viewing. I have needed to stop on a few occasions just to admire the colors and spectacle around me. I can testify that most confirmed night owls will not see a handful of sunrises in a year. Early birds get that honor.
Sleep before midnight really is more beneficial.
I once heard that every hour of sleep before midnight is almost equivalent to two before the clock strikes twelve. I confess that when I get to bed early on weeknights, I feel more rested than when I stay up late on weekends and sleep in. Maybe that anecdote is not such a stretch. Besides, all quality TV is aired before 10 PM (CST), anyway.
Early birds really do get more done before 10 AM.
I confess that when I am at my early morning job, I really do get more done before 10 AM than if I am at home on a "sleep in" weekend. On a weekend that I sleep in to 7 or 8 AM, I will look at the clock after a slow breakfast or late shower around 10 AM and compare what I would have gotten done at work. That makes me feel guilty every time! I know that some weekend days need to be slow and relaxing. But, how much could I have accomplished had I gotten up just a little earlier?
I will probably always tend to be a night owl, but now I have early bird yearnings.
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